Monday, March 21, 2011

life according to -- Perseverance might be deadly!

By definition:
per·se·ver·ance      [pur-suh-veer-uhns] Show IPA
1. steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.
2. Theology . continuance in a state of grace to the end, leading to eternal salvation.

     As you see, perseverance basically means never giving up. This in deed causes an issue, with me anyhow. I am an avid believer that you should complete any task that you start. Never quit. Never give up. Changing your mind is not an option. however; what happens when you have given it your all, your 100% and tried over and over again upon stumble and you still aren't near task completion?

When the world says, "Give up," Hope whispers, "Try it one more time."~Author Unknown

Here is my thought process, perseverance is a bitch! i have been working on a project for years. Yes, years! i haven't gotten anywhere near my goal but i continue to give it my all and make strides toward it and hope to see it one day be bigger than i imagined. i have done things that a person should never do for the sake of ;not giving up'. I have compromised my health, financial freedom and my life; thinking that "this is going to take off," and it has not. I've even contemplated doing illegal stuff (not that i ever will, I'm too chicken shit) in hope that i would finally close "this chapter".
Let me say this, only 2 people know of this project, let me rephrase...
Only 3 people know of this project, one of them being me and 2 of those people would never judge me or look at me any different for not completing or for saying "i have done all i can and given it my all but this is not attainable." I am not one of the 2.

The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't. ~Henry Ward Beecher

Hence; why i say, 'perseverance might be deadly'. i feel as though i got to the end of my rope, tied a knot and I'm just hanging there. like a dumb ass, waiting for a light bulb, reminiscent of old cartoons that lacked vocals. I guess what i am saying, is that i have given up on this journey. i have decided to not pursue the road i have been on for years. i spend hours thinking about it in many different angles and in which way to approach it. There are many freeways that will get you on the road to Las Vegas but we stick with a familiar one. Never venturing out or risking traffic on the 605 because if it's not broken why fix it? well, in this jibberish full of sayings my conclusion is this...

If one dream should fall and break into a thousand pieces, never be afraid to pick one of those pieces up and begin again.  ~Flavia Weedn

My dream is broken, in millions of little pieces. Today, i decide to venture on the 605 in order to complete my 8 year old project!

 frequently-regularly-often trip while reaching for my high ideals.  Then I giggle, or cry, and get back up.


  1. You are such an inspiration to me! I admire your determination! Glad to see that you are not giving up on your goal, but trying a road less traveled to get there! You have my 100 % support with the decision you feel is best :) if you need any help,someone to talk to, vent to, or just a friend to hang out with...please feel free to contact me and I will be there! I wish you the best success in each and everything you do! You are a doll and an inspiration!

  2. thank you hun! you, yourself have inspired me! its funny how we never know who we are inspiring.. which is why we should be on our best behavior and put our best foot foward everyday!